Why didn’t Mrs. Clause get Covid?

She was SANTAtized……

Why did your dad give the scarecrow a lifetime achievement award?

Because he was outstanding at his field. 

• “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
• “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
• “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
• “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
• “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
• “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”

• Knock, knock.”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Nobel.”
  • “Nobel who?”
  • “No­bel, so I just knocked.”
• “Knock, knock.”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Alabama.”
  • “Anybody with you?”
  • “Nope. I’m Alabama self.“
• “Knock, knock.”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Ayatollah.”
  • “Ayatollah who?”
  • “Ayatollah you already.”
• Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.
• Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
• Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
• What’s the least-spoken language in the world? Sign language.
• What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
• I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find were 6,000 matches.
• I sold our vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.